Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bad knee

So I'm writing this down to get it out of my head, in the hopes that I can get out of the dark place I'm currently in.

Yesterday I went on a cross country run with a couple of friends. I ended up being carried out of there. :(

Started off fine, all good, having a good time. Then, came to a part of the track where a log was across the track. I could have hurdled it, but the ground was wet from the rain, so didn't want to chance slipping. So decided to step up and over it. Unfortunately the log was also wet and slippery from the rain. My right foot slipped sideways, and my knee buckled and gave way. I hit the ground in absolute disbelief. This could not be happening, not again. You see, a few years ago, I snapped the meniscus in the same knee playing touch footy. Six months of physio ensued, and it was an experience I had fervently hoped would never happen again.

Luckily I was with friends, otherwise I would have had to crawl out of there I'm guessing. My knee didn't swell straight away, and I could straighten my leg, but when I first touched my knee I had to move something back into place (kneecap I'm thinking). I was in pain, I was scared, I was angry, I was upset. Rude words were said. Followed by words of denial, no, this is not happening.

My friends took turns piggybacking me out of there. By the time we got back to the cars my knee was starting to swell. So they took me to a local cafe where we could get some ice to put on it. One of my friends then went to the chemist to get me some Voltaren. While sitting in the cafe, I started to feel nauseous, then my fingers started tingling, my lips were going numb. For a minute there I thought I was going to pass out. Apparently at this point, there was not much colour in my face. My friend got me out into some fresh air, which cleared my head. Then I started to shake. I was told this was shock. A warm jacket was brought, and they drove me home.

Once on the lounge at home I started to feel a little better, it wasn't hurting quite as much. Drinks were had. Not a wise decision, but I wanted to forget, I wanted to deny that something serious had happened. Texts went out to friends, messages of support came back. I spoke to my personal trainer/friend, to get her up to speed on what had happened.

Went to bed sore and aching, and the tears came. I'd not cried up til then, but there's a limit apparently to how long I could stave off tears.

So, tomorrow, I'm off to the physio, I'm taking the day off work. Let's see how much damage has been done. Maybe it isn't as bad as I fear.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Busy, busy

So from next week my schedule is going to get a bit busy. I need to fit in the following:

work 8.30-5
bootcamp 6.30-7.30

work 8.30-5
fitness course 6-9.30

work 8.30-5
bootcamp 6.30-7.30

work 8.30-5
fitness course 6-9.30

work 8.30-5
bootcamp 6.30-7.30

session with trainer 7.30-8.30

fitness course 9-5

As well as spend time with husband, do any additional study required for fitness course, clean house, cook meals, prepare lunches for myself ... for the next 16 weeks. Quietly freaking out a little ...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A new direction

Choosing to ignore the fact I haven't blogged for over a month, will just pretend like I've been blogging all along ... ahem

Anyways, next week marks the start of a new thing for me. After much procrastination ... along the lines of "I wouldn't be any good at it anyway" "I'll get to that some time" "Do I really want to study again?" ... I've finally sucked up the courage to start studying to become a personal trainer.

So next week I start part time studying for my Cert III and Cert IV. It will involve going to class every Tues and Thurs evenings, and all day Sunday ... for 16 weeks. Not that I'm daunted or anything, I'm sure those 16 weeks will just fly by ...

I'm looking forward to it though, for a couple of reasons.

One .... I haaaate my current job. Every day I get up and drag myself to work. The people there are great, it's just the actual job that does my head in. Basically I work for a big company, and I have a customer which is another big company. So I'm helping two big companies make more money ... meh ... I'm sure that's great for them, but for me it doesn't do much.

Oh, except pay the bills. Ahem, yes, that's quite important. The mortgage is not going to pay itself sadly.

So basically the first reason is that I want a job which I don't hate, a job that I will want to get out of bed for.

Two ... I want to make a difference in people's lives (doesn't that sound corny!). Now, I know how much having a personal trainer has meant to me in my life, and I want to pay that forward. If I can help someone as much as I've been helped, I'll be a happy camper.

This is actually the bigger motivator for me. As an atheist, I don't believe in life after death, so this life is all I've got. I want to make it count for something.