Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ding ding ding! Round 1 about to start

So round 1 of 12WBT is about to start. Well the pre-season anyway. Pre-season starts this Sunday, then in 4 weeks time the actual round starts.

I'm going to sign up again, although it is $200 that I can't really afford right now. But it is important that I do it.

About halfway through round 3 last year I kinda dropped my bundle. One of my commitments was no alcohol whatsoever for the 12 weeks. Unfortunately I was going through a stressful time at the same time, and eventually it became too much for me, and yet again I turned to my old (toxic) friend alcohol. What I didn't realise was that this step was the first step in the ending of an important friendship. A friendship which became rapidly frightening, controlling and abusive (emotionally).

Throw into the mix a not happy home environment, complete with yelling arguments, a stressful holiday away, and our dog of 13 years needing to be put down and by the end of it all I was a complete mess. Nutrition ... gone! Exercise ... gone! Motivation to do anything really ... gone! I retreated from the world (albeit still on Twitter, just more sporadically), and went through a period of what I now believe looking back was depression.

I am goal-less at the moment, and feeling a bit adrift from the world. My nutrition is sometimes good, sometimes not. Alcohol has become a common occurrence again. I did start back on my exercise week before last, but a sprained ankle laid me low. Yes, I know I can do upper body and core. Must get on that lol.

Anyways, last year when I heard there was going to be a strong and lean category for 12WBT I became excited. I get to compete! I'm hanging to find out the criteria for it, as I need a goal to aim for, and I reckon this could be it. I'm still reasonably lean, even with putting on a few kilos since last year. And I know I can get stronger.

The biggest thing in my favour though is my support network through the friends I've made in 12WBT. The last couple of months has shown me who I can trust, and who I cannot. (Don't unfollow me, then tell me not to take it personally ... I take it personally ... especially if I helped you move, and shared many a coffee with you ... and suddenly I'm not interesting enough to follow?? /vent over)

I could have easily stayed in retreat, and decided not to trust anyone again. But throughout it all my best friend stayed by my side, stayed constant, and reassured me that not everyone was out to hurt me.

So bring on Round 1!! I look forward to smashing it up, and helping my friends do their utmost to achieve their goals. Hang on peeps, it's going to be a wild ride!!

1 comment:

Lisa Hetherington said...

Fantastic blog my friend :)

I love the way you write with such honesty, humour & emotion.

I know you will overcome your struggles and as you add more supportive positive friends to your life you will need those toxic ones less & less.

Lean & Strong will be the best thing that could happen to you. I for one can't wait to see just what you can achieve.

I know it will be amazing, I know I believe in you xx