So, another visit to the psychologist this afternoon ... went ok I think. Trying to deal with issues with my self esteem and self worth is a hard slog at the moment.
I've found that I've been opening up to people more often, but that it is a difficult thing for me to do, as it leaves me feeling vulnerable and wishing I hadn't. So then the next time I see them I feel all awkward. My psych says that's natural, it's because I'm not used to doing it. That I need to push on, that the more I open up to people, the more they'll open up to me, the easier it will become.
This post in itself is difficult to write, it's hard to wrap words around emotions and feelings, but I need to figure out who I am, and how I can fit into the world.
I read back over this, and it feels awkwardly written .... ah well, stuff it, at least I'm trying to put it into words and work it through.