So, another visit to the psychologist this afternoon ... went ok I think. Trying to deal with issues with my self esteem and self worth is a hard slog at the moment.
I've found that I've been opening up to people more often, but that it is a difficult thing for me to do, as it leaves me feeling vulnerable and wishing I hadn't. So then the next time I see them I feel all awkward. My psych says that's natural, it's because I'm not used to doing it. That I need to push on, that the more I open up to people, the more they'll open up to me, the easier it will become.
This post in itself is difficult to write, it's hard to wrap words around emotions and feelings, but I need to figure out who I am, and how I can fit into the world.
I read back over this, and it feels awkwardly written .... ah well, stuff it, at least I'm trying to put it into words and work it through.
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2 comments:
Sounds to me like you're doing a good job, kid :)
I admire you for all the work you are doing. Seriously. It can't be easy. So take it from me, you rock, and I for one am happy to have found you and your blog(s).
:)
I think the funny thing with opening up is we do feel exposed and wonder if we have said to much. You are not alone in your thoughts in this direction. I am only just starting to stand up for myself within my greater family and let people know how I feel and how at times they make me feel.
Can be so much healthier.
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