Hello? Is this thing on?

Well, here we are, attempt number 4,000,000 to blog on a regular basis. I'm just going to pretend I haven't been totally slack in blogging, and continue on from here ...

So what is happening in my world at the moment ... to recap on the last 6 months or so ...

I've now been a PT for 6 months. It is mostly good, I really really really don't miss my office job. I love that I don't have set hours (even though I'll never love getting up at 5 in the morning, it's still night time then people!! lol)

The only parts that aren't good are just down to lack of confidence on my part from time to time. I keep expecting someone to tap me on the shoulder and say "Who are you kidding, you can't be a personal trainer, you're NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Why yes, I do struggle with self esteem from time to time, something I'm working on.

Also, let's see, for the last 3 months I've been doing an online 12 week body transformation challenge. It's run by Michelle Bridges who is one of the trainers on The Biggest Loser, Australia's version of Jillian Michaels. Why did I do this, in that I had/have no weight to lose? Well, it's not just for weight loss goals, it can be any fitness or health related goals. In my case I set myself the following goals:

• Do 5 unassisted wide grip chinups (a strength goal)
• Get to 12.1 on the beep test (a fitness goal)
• Lose 3% body fat to get to see definition on my abs (also known as the vain goal lol)
• Go 12 weeks alcohol free (see if I can kick alcohol demons goal)

Which of these did I achieve?

Smashed the chinup goal, I actually surprised myself and got to 8 chinups!

Beep test goal went by the wayside. A couple of reasons why ... Through a combination of healthy eating/no alcohol/increased exercise my weight dropped a little. Then I got a stomach bug for a few days, at which point my weight dropped to 52.4kg. I looked gaunt and unhealthy and to be fair I was a little alarmed. I dropped off the cardio drastically and once over the bug decided to concentrate on my strength goal.

I lost 2.8% body fat. Very happy with this, my weight ended up at a more healthy 55kg, and I had the definition I wanted.

The alcohol goal - did I kick my demons? Well, I did go the 12 weeks alcohol free (except for my anniversary which I was allowed one day off for to celebrate). You see, I gave my word to Michelle, and my fellow 12WBTers that I wouldn't drink ... so I didn't. So I proved to myself that if held accountable then I can do it. However, now it has finished. And I have to say I crumbled like an ill built stack of cards. Last weekend I went back to the alcohol like I was trying to make up for the 12 weeks without. For 3 nights I drank to excess, to the point of being sick the next day.

So, it appears demons not conquered, just pushed to the side for a while. I'm hoping that blogging will help me to work through what I obviously haven't addressed as yet. What I'm trying to hide from, what I need to escape from, from time to time.

Feel free to come along for the ride.